You Are Trying, Now Trust
Therapy can feel stagnant and exhausting sometimes. You are not doing anything wrong when that happens. It’s a natural part of the process. Showing up in therapy isn’t about arriving with breakthroughs or perfectly packaged insight. Most of us don’t walk in with clarity; we walk in with questions, confusion, patterns we don’t fully understand yet, and the hope that something will change for the better.
Understanding ourselves is a gift we can explore in therapy and can be complicated. Expecting it to “make sense” every single week is an unfair expectation. You can let that go! You have permission!
Some weeks, showing up is the one percent you have to give. Just enough to open your laptop or get yourself into the room. Other weeks, you arrive with energy. You’re motivated, curious, ready to name what hurts. And then there are the quieter weeks when the passive parts lead.
All of these versions of you are welcome. All of them have something to teach you. None of them make you a “bad” therapy client.
Healing Is Messy
Sometimes therapy is active, when you are naming patterns, connecting dots, untangling memories. Other times, it is simply holding space for the version of you who feels lost or heavy or numb. Quiet sessions are not empty sessions. Something inside you is still shifting or making room, or rearranging meaning.
And often? The impact doesn’t land until much later.
You might hear something in a session and think, Hmm… okay. And then months later, in your car, in the shower, in the frozen food aisle at Market Basket-it hits you. That moment is when integration happens. That’s when the work settles into your body.
Healing follows its own timing. It cannot be rushed. Reflection is the golden thread of therapy. You take a pattern you’ve lived in for years and lay it out in front of you. You untangle it, strand by strand. You stare at the parts that scare you. You feel the weight of what each thread carries.
Then, slowly, you weave it back together, not perfectly, not neatly, but intentionally. With more understanding. More compassion. More you. Feel it.
Breathe.
Feel it again.
This is you honoring your story.
Feeling Guilty in Therapy
Guilt and shame pop up in therapy! Lets acknowledge some common fears you may have in session:
Feeling like you “should” have had a breakthrough by now
Worrying your therapist is disappointed in you or that you are “wasting” time
Not knowing what to talk about when life feels quiet or “light”
Feeling ashamed that you’re still struggling with something you “should be over”
None of these feelings mean you’re doing therapy wrong. In fact, they are often the exact material that deepens the work!
What to Bring Up in Therapy When You Don’t Know What to Talk About
Here are some short prompts to help start a session:
“I don’t know where to start today.”
“I don’t really have anything big, but I still feel off.”
“Part of me feels guilty that I don’t have a breakthrough.”
“Something feels stuck but I can’t describe it yet.”
Simple things count. Light weeks count. Showing up counts.
Sometimes the most meaningful work happens when you’re not trying to produce anything.
Grounding Statements to Use for Therapy
Try one or two of these and feel free to share with your therapist!
“I’m allowed to be exactly as I am.”
“There is no ‘right’ way to be a client.”
“Quiet sessions still move me forward.”
“I trust that something is shifting, even if I can’t see it yet.”
Say them out loud. Write them down. Keep them in your notes app.
You are trying—now trust. Trust the slow work. Trust the quiet weeks. Trust the parts of you that are still learning how to feel safe. You don’t need to perform healing. You just need to stay in the room with yourself.
And that, truly, is enough.
With grace & compassion,
Kelly
